Everyone knows that there is no practice period and a final exam that guarantees us to have all the necessary knowledge to be a good father or mother. Even being or not a good father, depending on who would be a source of discussion, it is obvious that everyone will have a different interpretation of this concept. Anyway, it is true that there are certain variables that every parent should consider and consider because the relationship, especially during the first years of life, is of great importance from a psychological point of view.
The fact that, increasingly, it becomes more difficult to combine work, family and social world is added to all the difficulties that exist for each. The education of children is very often in the hands of others and there are few hours that many families share. Despite this, the quality of the relationship between children and parents does not have to be affected, because sometimes it is more important to spend quality time with the children versus the amount of time with them.
1. Learn to plan your time in such a way that you have time with your children without any other obligations, for example, work type. In addition, if you have more than one child, it is important to share family time, but it also helps children to offer them time individually. Each child is unique, so knowing them and allowing their individual development, avoiding comparisons with the other, will favour the evolution and development of their personality.
2. Child and adolescent psychology, show affection for children, Since the child is born it is important to convey our affection and attention, as this helps him gain confidence, increase his interest in his surroundings and encourages him to explore the world safely. In addition, since they are born, creating a positive emotional bond with them will favour emotional balance as it allows them to express their feelings and fosters a healthier relationship.
3. Mark limits and rules to get children to learn what is right and what is wrong, as well as what to do to control themselves when they feel frustrated at not being able to achieve what they want. Marking rules allow children to know the correct way to act and, consequently, the benefits of it or its negative repercussions. All this helps to develop the maturity of the child, as well as the acquisition of responsibilities because knowing the pros and cons of their decision-making they exercise their own choice and therefore their freedom.
4. Differentiate between behaviours, that is, what children do and their own person or personality. It is not the same to say to a child “you are bad” (directly attack their self-esteem), than to say “what you have done is wrong” (behaviour). The behaviour is modifiable, we are all wrong, but this does not make us bad people, so it is important to know how to differentiate these concepts because if not, we will be contributing to the child generating low self-esteem.
5. We must be consistent and coherent, both with established norms and with existing sanctions if they are not met. It is also essential that both parents agree on them and works together for compliance. Discrepancies between adults must always be resolved in the absence of minors, in order to maintain the consistency of what is established in front of them.
Frequently the tiredness or exhaustion of the day ends up causing us to pass inadmissible behaviours in children that perhaps at another time would be taken care of and punished, we must pay attention to it because otherwise, the children will take advantage of these opportunities.
6. Generate a climate where communication exists and where problems are solved from tranquillity and not from a tense environment. Developing our problem-solving skills, as well as the ability to negotiate, helps to be more effective in resolving conflicts. At this point, it is important to emphasize that there are different educational styles on the part of the parents and that each one of them will generate some consequences or others in the family environment.
Child psychology, parents with authoritarian style parents with an authoritarian style will require compliance with their rules without being interested in the needs of the child; parents with a permissive style will prioritize their children’s wishes over any norm; while parents with a democratic style will know how to meet both the needs of their children and compliance with the rules, which is why the latter educational style will be the most beneficial, as it will promote the development of the child’s maturity as well as ensure that they feel understood.
7. We are an example for them, so we must be good role models to achieve positive learning. We must know that we are not the only ones because teachers, friends and idols will also mark much of the learning they carry out. Explaining the reason for the desired behaviours as well as being consistent and carrying out what we demand will increase the chances of their acquisition. As an example, if I ask my child not to hit, shout or have aggressive behaviours, but at home, either towards them or at a partner level, they observe such behaviours, it will be incongruous for the child.